Ork Bladerz

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Orks Portal

Ork Bladerz ^[1]

Ork Bladerz are Mercenary mobs of Orks for hire from Gorkamorka who charge into battle by riding alongside the exterior of Ork Vehicles while wearing specially converted boots called "Bladez," often while shouting their own unique forms of slang.^[2a]

History

In a time before the Space Hulk crash landed on the planet then known as Angelis, a Mekboy by the name of An-Orakk had a hobby of collecting journals of technologies from ancient history for inspiration. When the Hulk eventually crashed on Angelis during "Da Skid", many of his journals were lost though a few remained and as the mob around him grew the Mek was able to get many of these designs working, now going by the new name of "Nutz". One of his Ork assistants by the name of "Bent-Bitz" decided to impress the Mek with his own creation, inspired from one of An-Orakk's "colorful humie magazine." Taking a Warbuggy up hill and wearing the new "Bladez", they hung to the side of the vehicle as it charged downhill. At the right time, the buggy stopped abruptly and the Orks let go of their hold upon it, and were sent speedily on their way rolling on their new creations, right into an Ork audience to much delightfully violent effect. The Mekboy picked up his assistant from the sprawl of crashed orks, planted a kiss on his forehead, and congratulated him on such a wonderful new invention.^[2b]

"You've just made my day. Radeekal... Dood!"
- "Nutz" congratulating "Bent-Bitz"^[2b]

Description

Any Ork, except for gretchin and grots, may become a Blader by wearing their signature Bladez and Rollerz, provided they have the teef to afford them.^[2c] When worn, the Bladerz can catch or "skitch" a passing moving vehicle, gather momentum by holding onto it, and then letting go at the right time to glide over the ground at great speed towards a target.^[2d] Particularly skilled Orks can even attempt to catch especially fast moving Ork vehicles boosted by thrusters, though should they get their timing wrong they may end up falling flat on their face.^[2e] As they speed along on their own momentum, Bladerz will often attempt to jump and perform tricks over obstacles and low walls in their path, with often mixed results.^[2f] Bladez and Rollerz can even be modified, and particularly plucky Orks might attach Rokkits to them, further boosting their speed.^[2g]

Images

• 

  An Ork Blader, about to (attempt) to jump over some barrels.^[2h]

Trivia

The following information is not to be regarded as officially sanctioned and/ or is not written from an in-universe point of view. A detailed explanation of the term "Trivia" as used in the Lexicanum can be found here.

• By the authors' (Pete & Chris Wood) own admission, Andy Chambers insisted there be a "Sillyness Warning" [sic] regarding the Ork Bladerz.^[2a]
• Bladez are a parody of roller bladers.

Sources

• 1: Gorkamorka Gubbinz, pg. 18
• 2: The Citadel Journal 28:
  • 2a: pg. 12 — Bladerz
  • 2b: pg. 12-13 — History & Development
  • 2c: pg. 13 — Bladerz
  • 2d: pg. 13 — Special Movement rule - Hitching a Ride 'Skitchin'
  • 2e: pg. 13 — Thrusters
  • 2f: pg. 13 — Jumping
  • 2g: pg. 15 — Gubinz
  • 2h: pg. 17