Brain Boyz
Da only lost race I ever heard of woz when Hef crashed his trike in da final stretch of da cross-desert rally. Cost me a few teef, that. – Nuzzgrond of the Black Skulls[2]
The Brain Boyz,[1] or Brainboyz,[2] are the ancient progenitor species of Greenskins which instigated the Ork's technological development, and possibly created the Gretchins and the Orks themselves.[5] Ork legends, told by Runtherds,[2][5] remember them as The Lost Race and believe them to have devolved into the species now known as Snotlings.[1][2][5]
Contents
Overview
Ork legends, passed down by the Runtherds,[2][5] tell of of a legendary "Lost Race" of Brainboyz, Snotlings which were smarter in "da old days" and "used ta boss us Orks around".[5] The exact truth is difficult to know as Orks do not keep written records, relying instead upon oral histories to remember their past.[2] It is the speculation of Imperial scholars that as the Orks themselves were not responsible for the development of the legendary lost Ork Standard Construct Templates as even their Mekboyz could not have understood it,[3][5] and that indeed there may have been an ancient Orkish caste upon its homeworld which initiated the Ork expansion into space[5] – the Ork Waaagh!s of today being the unexpected byproduct of the efforts of the Brain Boyz.[4]
Brainboyz were Greenskins with the same symbiotic algae in their skin as all Orkish races[1][5] – indeed it was these Brainboyz which gave the other Orkish castes this skin as they were their creators and progenitors.[5] The Brainboyz, through potent genetic manipulation, grew these ever tougher, larger, and more brutal Mutants[4] to do their work and fight in wars: first growing the slave caste of Gretchin and eventually the unstoppable warrior caste of Orks.[5][4] Though their Ork and Gretchin servants were anything but intellectual, they had strong survival instincts and an innate understanding of their own universe[2] – to this end, or possibly out of some awareness of their own finality,[1][2][4] the Brain Boyz included an innate technical skills and some knowledge of their technology within the genetic structure of these Mutants, a boon which created the Mekboys[1] and enabled Orkish continuance of their empire.[1][4]
As intelligent as the Brainboyz were, they were unaware that they owed this intelligence to their diet: Snotlings are symbiotic with the fungi they eat, since early days cultivating their spores in the underground cave-systems of their homeworld,[3] and it was generations of this diet that stimulated the growth of their brains and uplifted them to sapience. This ignorance was their undoing[5]
The Brainboyz had some warning that they were over-reliant upon the fungus, as they expanded into space they were unable to grow the fungus off-world, instead relying upon shipments from the homeworld to their colonies. Where these shipments were disrupted for years, the world would fall to the domination of the Orks.[3] But, in large, they were ignorant to the possibility that these fungi could cause civilizational collapse.[5]
The exact nature of that collapse varies across stories but all end the same as Orks overthrow their oppressors and establish a new order for the Greenskins, forcing the devolution of the Brainboyz into Snotlings.[1][2][3][4][5] It is difficult to piece together this time in Ork history in any detail, and exists primarily through fragments of Ork legends{.{Fn|5}} Whatever the truth of the matter, the Brain Boyz died out long ago: an ancient caste reduced to little more than legend[4]
- Some Runtherds tell that the servant castes were put to work farming and harvesting the raw fungi, and that as they worked, they too began to eat the fungus – within a few generations their Ork brains growing smart enough for violent revolution. The Orks enslaved their masters and denied them their fungi. As the Brainboys regressed into Snotlings, the Orks lost their knowledge of cultivation and so the fungus became less abundant: the Orks also began to regress to their base intelligence, leaving them in the state they are today.[5]
- Other Runtherds tell agree that the Orks were the labourers which harvested the fungi, but expounded that it was distrust which drove them to eat the crop. Orks had only been fed a diet of Squigs, and believing the fungus special as it was forbidden instead all at once sat down and ate every last toadstool, mushroom, and puffball to the spore on the homeworld – and that while the feast had no effect on Ork brains, the denial of this crucial nutrient stupefied the Snotlings into their current state. The Orks found themselves in charge, successors to a young empire which they brought across the universe.[3]
- Some legends simply tell that it was an un-named tragedy during an Ork rebellion which caused the Brainboyz to regress into Snotlings[2]
- Some Ork legends hold that it was a great centuries-long plague which stunted the Brainboyz civilization causing the whole race to die out, leaving a power void for the Orks to fill.[1][2][4]
Runtherds maintain that the Snotlings, mischevious and playful creatures content frolicking in cess-pits and catching Squigs, are the same species as the Brainboyz: forever trapped in their underdeveloped pre-juvenile state.[3] The "Lost Race" is not lost, rather the slaves of their own creations; and the Orks the inheritors to their civilization.[5] Regardless of the truth, Snotlings manifest from the same fungal spores as the rest of the Orks.[2]
"Da only lost race I ever 'eard of woz when Hef crashed 'is sickle in da final stretch of da Cross-Desert rally," said Nuzzgrond irritably. "Cost me a few teef, dat did." He spat out a large gob squig, which bounced off the rocks and plopped into a nearby slime pudle.
"Nar," said Hef, idly picking one of his warts,"Pulg means da legendary Lost Race 'oo created da Orks an' stuff, don't yer, Pulg?"
The young Ork nodded enthusiastically. He was bright-eyed and keen to learn all about Ork Kultur.
"Yoo bin talkin' to da Gretchin again?" asked Nuzzgrond suspiciously. "Dis all sounds like Gretchin talk ter me."
"Nar, twas one of da Runtherdz was sayin' dat snotties used ta be a lot smarter in da old days. Dey used ta boss us Orks around."
"Yer don' wanna believe everfing da Oddboyz say, Pulg. Dey finks dey're speshul 'cos of all the snots and grots dey 'ave. Da only way snotties could boss us about wuz if dey woz seven foot tall. An' den dey would be Orks not snotties, hur hur!"
The Boss laughed roucously at his own wit and gave Pulg a comradely slap across his shoulder.
"Da Runtherd said dat da snotties used ter be smarter," persisted Pulg as he extracted himself from the thorny-bush and started to pick spines from his clothes. "'E said it woz all ter do wiv dis fungus-stuff dat dey ate. It made dere brains swell an' everybody listened ter dem 'coz dey woz smarter."
"When did an Ork ever listen ter anybody just coz dey woz smarter?" sneered Nozzgrond. "Snotties eat fungus all da time, an' dey're still stoopid little gits. An' anyway, Orks are – er – 'telligend, an' if anyone tellz ya otherwise, shoot dem wiv yer bolta!"
"It's possible," said Hef, considering the matter. "Maybe da fungus woz a drug an' it boosted da brain or sumfink."
Nozzgrond glared at him. "Like dat stuff you took last summer, dat had yer seein' pretty colours an' swearin' ya knew da secret of da ooniverse," he retorted. "Nar, dere's no fungus makes yer smarter, no lost race of super-snotties. I'm an Ork an' I should know. It's all rubbish!"
He poked around in the slime puddle with the end of his bolter, extracted the gob squig and popped it back into his mouth with the barrel. – conversation among the Black Skulls[2] on "Da Lost Race"[5]
Trivia
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In Codex: Necrons (3rd Edition), it is mentioned that the Old Ones created a hardy, green-skinned race to defend their last strongholds known as the Krork[6] It is implied that this may have been a progenitor to the Orks. This would either suggest that the Lost Race of Brain Boyz is only a myth told by the Runtherds about their most diminutive flock, or that the Brain Boyz themselves were created or displaced by the Old Ones and may in some way have been these Krorks.
See also
Sources
- 1: Codex Imperialis (Background Book), pgs. 50-51
- 2: Codex: Orks (4th Edition), pg. 7
- 3: White Dwarf 118 (UK), pg. 9
- 4: Codex: Orks (2nd Edition), pg. 4
- 5: Waaargh: Orks, pgs. 4-6
- 6: Codex: Necrons (3rd Edition), pg. 26
